The students were asked to list what they thought were the present “7 Wonders of the World.” Students wrote the Great Pyramids, Grand Canyon, Great Wall of China, etc. But one student was obviously having trouble so the teacher inquired. “What have you got so far?” The girl hesitated then read: “I think the 7 Wonders o…f the World are, to see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to smell, to laugh, and to love.”

If you’ve looked around my blog at all, you’ll know that I am involved with personal development, and work in the field of happiness. I do workshops, lectures, keynotes, represent an amazing wellness company, and all that good stuff. So I’ve been called, on more than one occasion, the happiness lady.

Sigh….

Well, the happiness lady is cranky today. So there. I’m not even going to hide it, I’m just going to lay it out there for you all to see. No need to cringe, the world will not end because you read a negative sentence on blog. Your pristine positive mindset will not crumble.

(Ok, add scathing to the cranky.)

One of the most common questions I get in a workshop or even talking in new business partners, is about the law of attraction and how to handle the ‘bad’ thoughts. If I think bad things, they’ll come true, I’ve made all the bad stuff in my life happen, if I give into to my negative feelings, my life will go to rack and ruin, and so on…

Back up the bus.

 
Let’s get something clear once and for all. If the law of attraction worked like a magic wand, we’d all wave it, have everything we could ever want, and be done with blogs and relationships and networking and all that because it’d be manifested, poof, just like that. Well, sorry, that was never the intent.
Secondly, being a positive person does not equate to being Suzy Sunshine 24/7. Nope, wipe that grin off your face every now and then and get in touch with your real self.
Personal Development, positive psychology, happiness, positive mindset, and blah blah blah, never once said deny the other half of the equation. The gurus do not say you cannot be sad, angry, upset, annoyed, frustrated, and ticked right off.
That’s not real. That’s denial. That’s fake. And we do want authenticity.
The key message in any personal development and wellness lesson is this: What will you do?
Seriously, this is the key. Feel anything and everything, in fact it’s important to allow all feelings not just the wram fuzzy ones; think anything and everything.
Now choose your path. Choose your reaction. Choose your next thoughts, feelings, actions. This is the neglected feature.
So yes, I’m crabby today for a litany of reasons not appropriate for these pages. And I have chosen to acknowledge that, feel that (not super fun, but not agony either), and now it comes to the choice. What do to NEXT…?
Well, I decided to tell this story. I didn’t go yell at my kids, I didn’t slam any doors, I didn’t smash any dishes, and I didn’t pout (much). I decided I would just feel cranky, crabby, and sarcastic. I decided that I could channel this feeling into something productive, a new post. And I decided to forgive myself and allow myself to be human.

Perhaps you can too.

Years ago a John Hopkin’s professor gave a group of graduate students this assignment: Go to the slums. Take 200 boys, between the ages of 12 and 16, and investigate their background and environment. Then predict their chances for the future.

The students, after consulting social statistics, talking to the boys, and compiling much data, concluded that 90 percent of the boys would spend some time in jail.

Twenty-five years later another group of graducate students was given the job of testing the prediction. They went back to the same area. Some of the boys – by then men – were still there, a few had died, some had moved away, but they got in touch with 180 of the original 200. They found that only four of the group had ever been sent to jail.

Why was it that these men, who had lived in a breeding place of crime, had such a surprisingly good record? The researchers were continually told: “Well, there was a teacher…”

They pressed further, and found that in 75 percent of the cases it was the same woman. The researchers went to this teacher, now living in a home for retired teachers. How had she exerted this remarkable influence over that group of children? Could she give them any reason why these boys should have remembered her?

“No,” she said, “no I really couldn’t.” And then, thinking back over the years, she said musingly, more to herself than to her questioners: “I loved those boys….”

Bits & Pieces – June 1995

Alright SMART-y pants. How are your goals? I gave you a step by step process to get them put together well and send you down the path of success. You have no excuses, I gave you the road map.

All you had to do was provide the goal.

Huh? You don’t know what your goal is? What do you mean? How hard can it be to simply pick something out of thin air apply the principles taught and viola, goals met.

Oh, what’s that you say? It’s the picking out of thin air that’s the problem? Ahhh…

Of course.

We forgot something important…. PASSION. Regardless of how fabulously you follow the SMART criteria, if you don’t feeel your goal, if it doesn’t inspire you, fire you up, get you excited, you’re not going to get it done. Leading a fulfilling life is knowing how to put the pieces of your life together in a way that you love.

But when was the last time you paused and thought about what you really loved? REALLY loved?

Discovering your passions TURNS ON YOUR POWER. That’s because once you discover and understand what you’re most passionate about and find the words to articulate your passions, you can begin organizing your life around your passions. This will allow you to leverage THE BEST of who you are to create a life you love. If you have a goal you are passionate about, you will follow those SMART steps to get yourself there in a hurry!

The following seven questions will get your creative juices flowing in your quest to find your passions.

1. What do I often give to others?
2. What do I have the most fun doing?
3. What do others look to me for?
4. What am I most often complimented on?
5. What do I do where I lose all track of time?
6. What do the people closest to me say my passions are?
7. What ideas, things, places and/or people am I most inspired by?

Answer these, get a list of 3-5 things you adore. Then go back to your SMART goal steps and see how they might change now that you have something juicy to reach for.